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Teen Will Not Go On Visitations

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Teenager Child Custody Problems

So much of what people ask us to do as family law attorneys is magic rather than mechanics.  Clients often ask that we use the law to magically eliminate the wrongs and missteps they have taken through the course of their lives.  Others ask that we mechanically bludgeon the other side with rules written to resolve disputes rather than to win them.  Those attorneys who choose to be mechanics of the law often send these desperate folks away without any assistance.  Attorneys who choose to believe in the magic of the law often unreasonably build the expectations of their trusting clients.  Unfortunately, the truth about what can and cannot be done for these people usually lies somewhere between magic and mechanics.

I have represented parents on both sides of the three hundred pound gorilla problem.  (you know the old joke – Where does a three hundred pound gorilla sleep?  Answer- anywhere he wants.) Teenagers can be three hundred pound gorillas if parents have taught them to act in that manner.  Each child is an individual, however, and many of these children are really only being manipulated by a misguided parent.  Other children really are three hundred pound gorillas and they will eat you if you get to close to the cage.  It is impossible to tell which type of child you have until someone, other than a parent,  is willing to get close enough to the gorilla to see what his or her intentions really are. In many cases that takes a therapist or an attorney appointed for the child.

Unfortunately, the law is the last resort some parents have to set the poker table that must be used to face off with a troubled teen.  In the three hundred pound gorilla cases in which I have felt successful, I have been given time to reach out and earn the child’s trust and both parents were willing to back each other’s parenting role in the teens’ life.

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