Kids laying down in a circleDuring the reformation of the family following divorce, children need both parents to stay involved in their lives. When parents don’t stay involved, children feel like they’re not important and don’t really matter.

Children need to know they are not losing either of their parents because of the divorce.

Children need to feel safe to stay neutral.  Children should not be forced to take sides between their parents.  They must be allowed to continue to love both parents.

Children should not hear their parents say negative things about one another.  Parents must assure that their children do not overhear arguments or discussions in which negative attitudes about the child’s other parent are expressed.

Children count on their parents for financial support.  Parents must not allow money problems to add undue stress to their child’s life.  If a parent cannot afford an ordered payment, they should make a payment for what they can afford while asking the court to change the amount.  Do no just stop paying!

All children need consistency, particularly during a divorce.  Children need to know when they will see each of their parents next. Don’t reduce a child’s parenting time with your ex-spouse as punishment for not giving you what you want during negotiations.  Try to keep your anger and frustrations separate from your responsibilities to your child.